Learn to say NO!

In a generation where people are looking for approval from anybody or everybody, saying the word no is a disgrace. From fmily members who are asking for too many favors, friends who expect way too much from you, strangers who seem to drain you of your kindness to just anybody you meet, name it, i've said yes to them in most ocassions.

But I've recently learned the art of saying no. Yes, it is indeed a secret art. It's supposed to be hidden so people may not think of you as an asshole or retard for speaking the dreaded word.

It's not my intention to be rude but I've been sincerely kind to people and I try to help them in whatever way I could. But looking back at my life, no one would help me when I needed one, even if I expressed clearly that I needed a helping hand. They've been used to seeing me doing the work for them and probably thought I can handle everything without their help. Sigh.

So, I tried learning from people who are so good at saying no--- the people I've been helping and doing favors for but aren't there when I need them. Yep, they started hating me. Hey, I don't exist to do things for them. ;-)

I'm not evil. I'm not rude. I just learned to respect myself more. I hate being a doormat.

People can be very abusive, even friends. Take this recent event as an example. I planned an outing to Tagaytay as a treat to my niece for being the top 1 of her class. A friend whom I have not seen for several years sent me a message on facebook to express his desire to join us. I said yes as he's become a part of our family. He said he does not enough money to bring something and I told him it's okay, just consider it a simple reunion. So everything is set. He knew the details, where we can pick him up as he's quite far from where i live, the time. He reminded me that he can't bring in anything. I said ok again. He found out i rented a van as I don't want to commute. Tagaytay is quite far. He said he can't share with the rent to the van. Again, I said that it's okay. Then I received a text message from him asking me if he could bring with his girlfriend, and two more friends with their kids. They wanted to share the fun. I thought about what I will reply. It is clear that the Tagaytay trip is a family get-together. I agreed to let him join as he's been like a family. I did not reply yet, still thinking of a reply to his text message.

I checked my facebook to chat with friends who's been to the place as I have some questions regarding the place. Lo and behold! On my news feed, I saw his status inviting friends who want to join him on a trip to Tagaytay. Several of his friends expressed desires to come with him as he guaranteed of a private van to take them to Tagaytay. The nerve!!!!

I was not mad at him. I was mad at his actions.

At that very moment, I sent him a reply. It was short and simple: Sorry, but no. It's a family gathering. You can come with us but not people who we don't know.

Was I rude? Maybe. But I believe it's the best response.

Yes, saying no can be quite difficult. It still bothers me whenever I say it. I still feel guilty. But, it still needs to be said sometimes.

Yes. Learn to say no. It is a liberating experience.

posted from Bloggeroid

help! it's too crowded!

for the past weeks, my silent world had been bombarded with noise. not the explosive type, but noise which comes from too many people talking all at the same time.

one may say: "you're a teacher. what's the fuss with the noise thingy? everyday, you face classes filled with talkative students. what's the difference?"

well, i may say a lot.

first, although a classroom is filled with noisy students, they do not speak in a normal speaking voice-they simply whisper. what i have now are people talking beyond their normal conversational voice.

second, i can control the situation. when the noise reaches my tolerable level, i tone down my class. i remind them of proper behavior in class, and they follow. how am i suppose to do that to a bunch of grown-up adults?

third, the noise is simply irritating, period. i'm not used to excessive noise AT HOME. in fact, home is a reliever for an all-day noise in school. with kids playing and running around the house, adults chatting (read: gossiping), more adults giving instructions on what to do and what not to do, males who are having a drinking session, and non-stop laughing and chatting, myh head's definitely hurting now. i feel dizzy now.

alright, this does not happen everyday. it's just that today is the 'pasiyam' of my mom. but it's still getting on my nerves.

don't get me wrong. i'm not an anti-social. it's fun to see relatives once in a while but it's the need for solitude which i miss at this point. i'm a very private person and whenever i see people getting in and out of the house (and even our rooms), i feel as if my privacy has been invaded.

i know this is just for today. and since it's for my mom's memory, i'll extend tolerance.

posted from Bloggeroid