i admit, i have given this response a million times whenever people close to me see me with a guy. but hey, it's not like with those queens of denial showbiz personalities who deny everything. in fact, there were a gazillion moments when what i really wanted to say is: "uy, meet my boyfriend!" but no, i never reached that point.
why?
'cause i am the ever dependable, loyal, trustworthy and best friend for them.
sigh.
there was a moment when i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and tell a "friend": "bakit siya ang gusto mung ligawan? bakit hindi na lang ako? mas mabait, matalino, maaasahan at *ehem* maganda naman ako sa kanya. BAKIT BESPREN KO PA? bakit AKO pa ang gusto mung MAGLAKAD sa 'yo sa kanya?!?!" but, oh well, all i can manage to say at that time was "yun lang ba? sure. malakas ka sa akin eh" what a coward.
i dreaded the day it'll happen again.
luckily, it didn't.
but the line "friends lang kami" keeps on coming back... haunting me., reminding me what a coward i have been.
i met him.
it was not like the previous one whom i had an argument on our first encounter. this new guy is more reserved, quiet, yet intriguing. there's something behind his hazel brown eyes.
first encounter. first meeting. we were introduced to each other by our team manager and were both about to sign our contract. i meekly said "hi," gave him a smile, and offered a handshake. as an acknowledgment to my friendly gesture, he looked at me and raised his right eyebrows.
what an ingrate!
now, you have to understand that i am not really the friendly type. in fact, i am so used to raising my eyebrows that it has become part of my identity. most men are intimidated by my sheer presence. but no, i have never committed that unforgivable sin of acknowledging a friendly gesture with a belittling stare and raising of the brows.
so i reverted to my usual personality and vowed never to speak or interact with him, and him alone.
revenge.
i don't know how or when and why but i just found myself talking with him, sharing a good laugh , verbally and physically hitting each other (he with the former, and i with the latter). we were undeniably and truly inseparable. you'll find me where he is and the same goes with him (except in inconvenient places like the washroom, of course!) we had a lot of things in common, but arguing is what we both enjoy. not that we can't settle our differences, but it's how we settle them. weird huh?!?
after months of being close with each other, the dreaded question then came: "kayo na ba?!?"
i only have a simple answer. i laughed and told them : "ano ba kayo, malisyoso kayo masyado. friends lang kami."
they didn't believe and i can't blame them. how can they not think that we're not more than friends when they witnessed how worried he was when i came to work one day with a fever? everyone in our team saw how he took care of me and how he sacrificed his breaks just to make sure he can look over me. he didn't even go home even if his apartment is just a walking distance from the office because he was making sure i get a full rest on the company's sleeping quarters and i get to drink the medicine on time? how can i say we're just friends when after his 3-day absence, what he did first upon seeing me is hugged me (the longest and tightest he gave me) and talked to nobody except me? was it really a simple friends lang kami when he gives me a hug on every opportunity he sees, and says "love ko talaga si ghie" everyday in front of our team mates?
maybe, there really was an "us". maybe, our hearts had a silent agreement. maybe, i was just to blind to see it, too numb to feel it, or too afraid to get hurt again because of an assumption that a man likes me.
so, i am stuck with the line "friends lang kami"
why?
'cause i am the ever dependable, loyal, trustworthy and best friend for them.
sigh.
there was a moment when i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and tell a "friend": "bakit siya ang gusto mung ligawan? bakit hindi na lang ako? mas mabait, matalino, maaasahan at *ehem* maganda naman ako sa kanya. BAKIT BESPREN KO PA? bakit AKO pa ang gusto mung MAGLAKAD sa 'yo sa kanya?!?!" but, oh well, all i can manage to say at that time was "yun lang ba? sure. malakas ka sa akin eh" what a coward.
i dreaded the day it'll happen again.
luckily, it didn't.
but the line "friends lang kami" keeps on coming back... haunting me., reminding me what a coward i have been.
i met him.
it was not like the previous one whom i had an argument on our first encounter. this new guy is more reserved, quiet, yet intriguing. there's something behind his hazel brown eyes.
first encounter. first meeting. we were introduced to each other by our team manager and were both about to sign our contract. i meekly said "hi," gave him a smile, and offered a handshake. as an acknowledgment to my friendly gesture, he looked at me and raised his right eyebrows.
what an ingrate!
now, you have to understand that i am not really the friendly type. in fact, i am so used to raising my eyebrows that it has become part of my identity. most men are intimidated by my sheer presence. but no, i have never committed that unforgivable sin of acknowledging a friendly gesture with a belittling stare and raising of the brows.
so i reverted to my usual personality and vowed never to speak or interact with him, and him alone.
revenge.
i don't know how or when and why but i just found myself talking with him, sharing a good laugh , verbally and physically hitting each other (he with the former, and i with the latter). we were undeniably and truly inseparable. you'll find me where he is and the same goes with him (except in inconvenient places like the washroom, of course!) we had a lot of things in common, but arguing is what we both enjoy. not that we can't settle our differences, but it's how we settle them. weird huh?!?
after months of being close with each other, the dreaded question then came: "kayo na ba?!?"
i only have a simple answer. i laughed and told them : "ano ba kayo, malisyoso kayo masyado. friends lang kami."
they didn't believe and i can't blame them. how can they not think that we're not more than friends when they witnessed how worried he was when i came to work one day with a fever? everyone in our team saw how he took care of me and how he sacrificed his breaks just to make sure he can look over me. he didn't even go home even if his apartment is just a walking distance from the office because he was making sure i get a full rest on the company's sleeping quarters and i get to drink the medicine on time? how can i say we're just friends when after his 3-day absence, what he did first upon seeing me is hugged me (the longest and tightest he gave me) and talked to nobody except me? was it really a simple friends lang kami when he gives me a hug on every opportunity he sees, and says "love ko talaga si ghie" everyday in front of our team mates?
maybe, there really was an "us". maybe, our hearts had a silent agreement. maybe, i was just to blind to see it, too numb to feel it, or too afraid to get hurt again because of an assumption that a man likes me.
so, i am stuck with the line "friends lang kami"
posted from Bloggeroid
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